Friday, January 01, 2010

God Almighty Issues Credit Card

God Almighty Issues Credit Card - Under the current economic conditions many of the larger banks and credit card companies have been busy raising rates and fees in anticipation of the beginning of stricter federal controls.  This to help insure higher profits for corporate officers and stockholders as they continue to put it to their customers with consumers paying more for help managing their money. 

Sensing that something had to be done, The Lord has announced a plan for a credit card where you do not have to repay the borrowed funds.  Holders are expected to follow basic policies and procedures including not stealing, taking His name in vain, coveting thy neighbors ox or ass plus a far reaching program that includes many others.

This is the first major financial move The Lord has undertaken since Jesus Christ overturned the money changers tables at the rear of the temple, obviously dating back to Biblical times.  The first card issued was an honorary gold card presented to Evangelist Oral Roberts.  Reported to be first in line to apply for the card, named simply "The God Card", was Pope Benedict, Rev. Jesse Jackson and the Rev. Al Sharpton.  The application process will continue through an ongoing operation.

Already the frenzy to convert to Christianity has begun around the world to allow non-believers to become cardholders.  Never before have such large quantities of Islamic, Buddhists, atheists and others been converting and are clamoring for the first of it's kind credit card venture.

One change has already taken place in the design of the project.  The "Expiration Date" has been eliminated to relieve undo anxiety in cardholders.

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